seductless: (Default)
Fᴀʟʟ-Fʀᴏᴍ-Gʀᴀᴄᴇ ([personal profile] seductless) wrote2017-08-20 02:30 pm

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zewu_jun: (pic#13725538)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-03-31 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
I have been trying to learn.

[Maybe his experience with himself is a little less tuned than other people's, but Xichen sits up straight as he says that, as if making it a formal declaration. Or maybe he's just pleased to see her drinking the tea, who knows?]

It would be worth the punishment. I don't remember what happened, but it was worth waking up today. I believe I have seen a different perspective to the morning, and that is something I would not have known otherwise.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795217)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-01 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
It was a painful lesson, but true knowledge does not come easily. I'm grateful for it.

[He's certainly not jumping into wild experiences at his rate, but he at least has a bit more of a perspective now. Maybe it isn't so bad not to expect things to end a certain way.]

I have never been homesick.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795826)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
I think so.

[He looks unsure, although he's still smiling with the quiet acceptance he always has.]

Before, I... have been frightened, worried for my family, but I suppose I always assumed that either I would return or that it would not matter. I didn't have time to miss it.
zewu_jun: (pic#13725542)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Xichen smiles in return, although he doesn't seem completely convinced.]

Mm. I sometimes think of the mist in the morning. It was cold, with the smell of dew on the plants. But if I should stand too long recalling that scent and that feeling, I would never see the sun outside my room here. And I am afraid of drifting downstream.

[If he pauses now and lingers, he'll make no progress and start sliding back. It was always easier before, even during the worst of things, because he always had a foundation in a way. But now it feels like that foundation was wrong, and in a sentimental and insecure moment, it's the small things that keep holding him up.]
zewu_jun: (pic#13725543)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[Xichen pauses to consider that, then shakes his head.]

Not as good as I might be, I think. Avoiding temptation is not the same as knowing where the balance lies. And I have failed to find that in the past already.

[Several times, if he really starts counting.]

The space within my home was small. We were a significant sect, but life was simple and easy to manage. Yearning is like a vast lake. I have only stood upon a boat, never gone in it.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795261)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[The quiet should be disconcerting, but Xichen is content, waiting on the wisdom of his more experienced friend. And she gives him the reassurance he wanted to hear. Just knowing that she thinks it will become easier makes his shoulders relax slightly. He leans forward and reaches out to refill her cup with the teapot, but as he moves, a small ball of fur comes darting out of his sleeve, landing on the table with an alarmed noise.]

Ah, no, don't- Come here. [The squirrel holds its ground, looking highly unamused by this change of location.]

I'm sorry. It was asleep; I didn't want to leave it.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795822)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know.

[Xichen is distraught. This is clearly not something he's used to happening with his tea.]

When I awoke, it was curled up on my chest. I must have picked it up.

[It's as likely as anything, really.]

I thought it would stay asleep. It seemed calm before.
zewu_jun: (pic#13725552)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-02 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
[The squirrel looks between the two, taking small, sharp steps back and forth as it assesses its surroundings and tries to decide what to do. Finally, it skitters toward Grace, giving her hand a curious test sniff. It seems to keep still there, at least content to sit and not run away.]

It might be young. I feel sorry for it. It must miss its family.

[He pulls a few seeds from a pouch in his sleeve and sets them down near Grace's hand, letting the squirrel take them. It stuffs the seeds in its mouth and stays put where it is, accepting that this is its new home.]

I would take it back, but I don't remember where it came from.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795281)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-03 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
[The squirrel seems happy enough for a squirrel. With food and no immediate threat, it seems to adopt the weird humans as its providers. When Grace pets it, the small eyes close as if the squirrel is resting or thinking.]

Mm. I put it down before and it stayed with me. I think trying to leave it would be abandoning it, and I don't want to do that. I'm glad it came along. It seems to like you.
zewu_jun: (pic#13725542)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-04 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
It is cute because it is not hungry.

[Much less cute when it is throwing a furry tantrum and Xichen doesn't know what it wants. But he does smile, pleased that the two are apparently getting along.]

I suppose it will need training as well.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795281)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-04 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Xichen feels somewhat proud, because he's unexpectedly giving Grace a new experience. He didn't think he'd be trying to tame a squirrel of all things, but if that provides something beneficial for Grace, than it will be worth it.]

I usually don't spend time with animals. That I suppose is another thing the city is teaching me. I would appreciate any ideas you have. So far, it only seems to calm down when it eats or sleeps.
zewu_jun: (pic#13795833)

[personal profile] zewu_jun 2020-04-05 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
[Trust is something he has also struggled with recently. The irony gets a smile out of Xichen, soft and fond as he watches the squirrel settle down while Grace pets it.]

Maybe we aren't very different. Everything requires trust.

[He knows a little about that, at least. Xichen pulls out his xiao, pushing the chair back to give himself some space to play a short song, testing out the rhythm to see how the squirrel reacts. It seems to listen, twitching its tail a little as it looks up at the humans.]

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